In my softest and most precious times
I can understand how lucky I am to sit warmly in bed, with a perfect cat clawing her way across my stomach My breasts My thighs Nails clipping awkwardly into the duvet Knees angled and awkward like a chicken Strutting and yowling at 2 AM It is no one’s fault but my own That she believes 2 AM is the perfect time to complain Or announce her undying love in caterwauling tones As I was the fool who woke, one night, from woolen dreams To pull her close and tell her she was perfect And pet her velvet ears and let her know that I will wake up when she calls me In my softest and most painful times I can understand how brief and stacked the time is We have had wonderful days of kittenhood and claws out Of blown-eyed catnip wondering and nighttime mouse haunt stalking And years of coming home with a backpack or a suitcase or nothing To know that she remembers me still and will still crawl warm into my lap And let me pet her little belly I don’t want to lose this, I think up into the midnight As she curls awkwardly on the floor in a pile of my clothes Or sprawled across a cardboard box that I bought with things for me Or meowing and nipping at my fingertips I don’t want to lose this little life Why did you come into my life this way? And make yourself so perfect And so fragile And so wild That even a wind could blow you far from me And nothing but death could come between us two My cat doesn’t care. Even now She sits on the floor and licks her asshole And understand that it’s enough. All of it, taken as one. This soft and precious time It is enough.
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